Conspiracy fans rejoice

My friends, welcome to the coming golden age.  We have not had such a fertile ground for unfounded speculation since the JFK assassination.  I mean they tried with Bill Clinton, but you really can’t come up with vast global conspiracy theories with principals who are so obviously venal, narcissistic and politically motivated.  I mean, blow jobs and land deals, yawn.  Bush the younger upped the ante just by having Rove and Cheney as the dual bogymen in every Liberal nightmare scenario.  Still, our conspiratorial feast relied only on cronyism and blood for oil.  While there’s a germ of genius in claiming the administration had a hand in 9/11, but that jumped the shark when Uwe Boll made a movie about it. When Uwe Boll is making movies about your conspiracy theories, it’s sort of sad.  (Not in the OMG they’re using him to discredit the idea sad, no, just plain old sad.)

No. Truly great conspiracy theories require inexplicable events of such magnitude that they demand something more than a mundane explanation. They require the official explanation be so lame in the face of the facts that there’s little other option then to assume grand plots at work to evil ends.

Try this one on for size. A US president visits a foreign country that shortly afterward becomes the center of a potential pandemic. An outbreak where one of his tour guides subsequently dies. (Though, they claim (wheoever they are) that the victim did not die of swine flu.) Within a few days (remember, in things like this, temporal proximity always implies causal proximity) we have Air Force one buzzing New York in what has been portrayed as what could be kindly put as the most asinine insensitive and ill-advised photo op in the history of asinine insensitive and ill-advised photo-ops.

The kind of event that makes you think; no-one is that stupid.

Think of what you can do with this sequence of events. Maybe the crew was infected down in Mexico?  Maybe Air Force One is a vector for germ warfare experiments and everyone in Manhattan is going to start coughing up blood? It’s gotta be something, right? As any conspiracy buff knows, things like this don’t just happen.