1. You can be a moderate, and be to the left of Barack Obama.
2. Calling for the death of novelists? No problem.
3. CBS couldn’t estimate the attendance at a three-year old’s birthday party.
4. Comedy Central does message control and suppression of the press better than some third-world governments.
5. Apparently Jon Stewart’s target audience is predominantly white.
6. Jon Stewart draws better than Obama.
7. And seems to have the same speechwriter.
8. Hitler mustache? It’s all good!
9. It’s good to have the president as your publicist.
10. It really wasn’t political. No, really. I mean it.
(Liberals reading this should note that the purpose of Jon Stewart in this universe is to show that a doctrinaire liberal can actually have a sense of humor. Don’t be a counter-example.)