Here we have the first part of Stranger Inside:
Jimmy didn’t know how the fight started.
He’d been standing in front of his locker and he remembered watching that asshole Frank Bradley pass by. In Jimmy’s mind there was an abrupt cut from that, directly to the sound of his skull hitting the locker. He didn’t have time to shake the painful ringing out of his ears before he felt Frank’s fist slamming into his gut.
Frank must be having a bad day.
Jimmy felt his back slam into the locker behind him. Copper breath blew from his puffed cheeks as Frank punched his side, above the kidney. Frank’s other hand pressed against Jimmy’s face, holding him back and obstructing his vision. Frank’s hand smelled of sweat and grease.
Jimmy heard a crowd around them, though he could only catch glimpses of the semicircle of students. None of the faces were familiar, though Jimmy wondered exactly who he was looking for. He’d only been here two months—
Another jab in the region of his kidney brought the thought to an abrupt close.
He brought his arms in close to fend off Frank’s fist, which kept pounding. Frank didn’t seem to notice, or care. Frank was throwing wild punches, with little attention to where he connected.
Fuck. Jimmy thought. The bastard isn’t going to let up this time.
Another tried and true technique in openings is starting in medias res, dropping the reader in the middle of an action scene. It looks like an easy way to get a reader involved quickly, but it’s harder than it looks. In order to be involved in the scene, the reader has to have some investment in the character and the situation. There’s a lot less room to show the characters and situation when the fists are flying on the first page. (Compare the level of action here with my last opening.)
Obviously, it can be done. I’m pretty sure that, by the end of this passage, the reader has a clear picture of Jimmy simply through the choice of POV and narrative voice. The setting is also subtly but firmly anchored by the references to lockers and students. When combined with Jimmy’s voice, the reader is pretty sure that we’re in a High School somewhere. That alone brings enough context to start getting us into the relationship between Frank and Jimmy, and for most readers that knowledge is enough to engender the interest and empathy to turn the page.
