Internet trolls are fascinating creatures. They live in the nooks and crannies of the internet, eager to pounce on any unwary passer-by. I find the psychology fascinating, as trolls almost always advocate a political point of view, and do it exceedingly badly. So badly that one is often left wondering if they secretly pull for the opposing side of the argument. Though, it’s really the argument that they are all about.
I had a brush with one of these cuddly internet denizens on twitter today. It was enlightening. The troll’s handle is “meatbrain” so you might guess he’s not a rocket scientist. I should know, since I have argued with rocket scientists. No, this brain of meat is not particularly eloquent. In fact his main rhetorical gambit is to repeatedly shout “LIAR” like a crack-addled Joe Wilson at an HCAN meeting. So what bridge did this chuck-roast cerebellum decide to burrow out from? It was my tweet:
Sure they destroyed records, ignored FOIA requests and suppressed other scientists, but the DATA was ok, right? http://bit.ly/4snKhg
Guess what hamburger-mind took issue with?
RT @SAndrewSwann “Sure they destroyed records” You’re lying. No data destroyed. http://bit.ly/8bidF7
Interesting point, though Media Matters fails to point out that the original claim that data went missing came from CRU itself, as an excuse to dodge FOIA requests. I figure this is probably a debatable point, but debate is not a strong point of our beefsteak cranium. What follows is a demonstration of a level of respect and intellect that makes Perez Hilton look like James Lipton:
ME: @meatbrain Lying? http://bit.ly/6Qe1jI : “the University of East Anglia (UEA) have admitted throwing away much of the raw temperature data” [i.e. The statement from the CRU dumped this stuff in the 1980’s]
MEAT: @SAndrewSwann Yes, dimwit, you’re lying. No data was destroyed. Read, jackass: http://bit.ly/8bidF7 [Yes, he’s repeating the exact same Media Matters post here.]
ME:@meatbrain my you must be insecure to cram three insults and the same link in 140 characters: http://bit.ly/1HUCUR [I was slow on the uptake, didn’t realize I was being trolled.]
ME: @meatbrain so the IRS can nuke its DB of tax returns and say it's ok because all the taxpayers have copies of their 1040s [Here’s a tip, trolls are impervious to subtle points of logic.]
MEAT: @SAndrewSwann Data still exists. Nothing destroyed. You persist in lying – as expected. [Additional content, nil. By now I realize this is a troll, and a particularly uncreative one.]
ME: @meatbrain CRU “had thrown out much of the raw temperature data on which some of its global warming research was based” http://bit.ly/6pZJix [Now I’m just screwing with him.]
MEAT: @SAndrewSwann You’re still ignoring the facts, and still pimping a lie. We know what you are now. You can stop advertising your dishonesty. [His facts: a single Media Matters post where the main “fact” is a statement by a CRU scientist that the earlier statement from the CRU that data was destroyed did not in fact mean that data was destroyed. Oh, and got to love the royal “we.” ]
ME: @meatbrain “If they ever hear there is a [FOIA] now in the UK, I think I’ll delete the file rather than send to anyone” http://bit.ly/4DFCsG [Fun fact, I’m quoting the same guy who gave the above “facts” to Media Matters. And he may be looking for work soon.]
MEAT: @SAndrewSwann Which data was actually and permanently “destroyed”, liar? Cherry-picking quotes prove nothing save your own dishonesty. [So actually quoting people makes one a liar. I’m surprised he didn’t claim I was taking it out of context. Great accusation to use on Twitter, though, given the 140 character limit.]
ME: @meatbrain If no data has been destroyed, then the CRU was lying to dodge an FOI request. Which is it? http://bit.ly/1NC1oQ [Note his immediate and unambiguous answer to the question.]
MEAT: @SAndrewSwann You’re afraid to answer this: Which data was actually and permanently “destroyed”? Run away again, coward. [Guess he didn’t like that question did he?]
MEAT: @SAndrewSwann Your hero Patrick Michaels misrepresented himself as a “state climatologist” for years. http://bit.ly/8Swvb4 [Attack the guy I linked to, that’s the ticket. That’s making your case. Now if someone could only figure out what your case is.]
MEAT: @SAndrewSwann Patrick Michaels is a proven liar http://bit.ly/5H8OMg – no wonder you love to cite his spewage [Lies, oh the LIES! He provided an arguable interpretation of an Al Gore quote. Oh the humanity.]
ME: @meatbrain “Michaels was originally appointed state climatologist by Gov. John Dalton in 1980” if there’s a problem, it’s in the Gov Office [Fun fact, I quote from the meaty one’s own link.]
ME: @meatbrain Rather low bar for “proven liardom.” Does Phil Jones meet them? Did CRU tell the truth about deleting its data or not? [Now I know this question pisses him off.]
MEAT: @SAndrewSwann And again, you ignore the inconvenient facts. Mendacity is THE core value for you. [See, he’s pissed off.]
ME: @meatbrain Well I guess I was wrong, they didn’t delete data: http://bit.ly/6Hylkw It seems they were just lying about that to avoid FOIA. [So I answer it for him.]
MEAT: @SAndrewSwann Michaels made false statement. You don’t think that makes him a liar? Oh wait, you’ve done the same. [He’s not even paying attention now.]
MEAT: @SAndrewSwann You can’t find any data that’s actually gone forever – but you’re going to go right on spreading that lie. Smug, lying turd. [He’s not even making sense by the rules of his own little universe.]
ME: Seems @meatbrain can’t win an argument gracefully. I agreed the CRU lied about trashing its data. My fault for taking them at their word. [I claim my pound of flesh (meat) and bid my little troll adieu. This is, after all, the logical conclusion of his argument, such as it is.]
MEAT: @SAndrewSwann Not interested in “winning” anything. Just here to throw the fact that you’re a liar back in your face. [Of course, he must have the last word. And does so in a statement that pretty much admits he’s a troll and that he lost the argument.]
